Schrödinger's cat
by G33ki3
Summary: Tony has this wonderful idea of performing Schrödinger's experiment on Loki but Bruce isn't so sure Thor is going to be all that happy, Hank thinks it's brilliant, and Peter wants to blow stuff up. Clint's just mad that they just won't leave him be to watch Coulson. Science bros! Includes other Avengers not in the movie. Rated for innuendos and detailed planning of torture.


_**Hey guys, allow me to warn you ahead of time, this is loosely based off of several influences such as the recent comics, several TV shows, the characters movies, and of course The Avengers movie.**_

_**I really enjoy the science bro fics between Bruce and Tony but they aren't the only geeks of the Avengers. Granted, this doesn't have all of the doctors or scientists in it just the ones I personally like.**_

_**There are hinted boyxboy couples (and one stalker Clint) but they can be ignored if it's not your cup of tea.**_

_**I don't own anything mentioned in this fic.  
**_

_**(BTW, if my science is off, sorry. I'm a starving artist, not a scientist.)  
**_

* * *

Tony Stark didn't like to listen to anyone, media included. Perhaps that is why he and Bruce got along so well. Maybe it was just because they were both geniuses in their own respect that they spent a majority of the day acting like two giggling school girls gushing over the latest and greatest pop singers in the whatever lab they were closest to. It didn't matter though because as much as the two would hate to admit it they found friendship in the other. Pepper even approved of Bruce after coming to the conclusion he hardly ever Hulked out, and made sure to include him in the schedule (not that Tony paid whatever she wrote down in the agenda any mind).

"Hey, Banner, how's this lookin'?" The scientist glanced over his friend's shoulder before grunting his approval. They were repairing the team's clothes because they couldn't just hand over Captain America's trademark outfit to a seamstress and not expect to get a few funny looks. None of the females would repair anything claiming it to be sexist. Tony more or less got volunteered to do it by Clint who when asked why he wouldn't just do it, ran off in a hurry to Coulson's office.

Bruce, Peter, and Steve had an awful tendency to rip their outfits and while Peter did most of his own stitching he requested politely to have it done while staying in the Avenger's mansion. (Why he was in the Avenger's mansion was still a curiosity to everyone, though they each came to the conclusion that it had either to do with Fury or his landlord.) Bruce had a soft spot for the kid and caved in without even putting up a fight. (Of course Bruce could easily argue that Tony had a soft spot for the Avenger as well seeing how he was always finding the kid work due to Peter refusing to take any handouts from the billionaire.) The thing was Bruce knew nothing about sewing and left Tony with all the work. He mostly sat in the basement to provide company for his friend and to get some distance from the boisterous Norse God. They hadn't gotten along since their first proper meeting and have had trouble finding even ground since. Bruce knew he was a good guy as every other member of the team had testified but he was tired of having a constant fight over dominancy he didn't even wish to win. Not only that Hulk didn't react very well to his loud speech and constant breaking of mugs and glasses.

"Okay, I think I'm done." The outfit looked good, really good. It resembled Peter's own patch work which bordered on the line of perfection. All the stitching Tony had been doing here of late for the team was really paying off. Bruce couldn't help but think that the young Spider-man would be pleased with the work. "Looks superb." Stark's eyes shinned with pride despite his apathetic facial expression. Carefully folding the red and blue outfit, Tony placed it on Steve's own colorful suit.

They sat in relative silence. Neither wanted to break the quiet tranquility that they seldom got to bask in. Tony had leaned back in his chair, feet propped up on the work station, while Bruce crossed his legs and entwined his fingers. It was so peaceful. At times like this Banner wished it was just the two of them in this building with the occasional visit from Pepper. It would be nothing but scientific experiments and processes that would end in pizza from Ms. Potts and a crash on any locally available surfaces.

Stark sighed and pulled himself up. "Come on Brucey, let's go get something to eat or better yet drink. I think we still have some take out from last night if you want some. If Clint and Thor didn't eat it all that is." Bruce hummed and trailed silently behind his friend, listening to the man start to rant about cats for one reason or another.

* * *

Peter Parker rolled around haphazardly into an end table. Body aching from the night before and carpet burn still raw, he all but cried out in pain from the force of the blunt object.

Matt had already gone. He should have known that the superhero wouldn't have stayed any longer than necessary but he could hope that for once he would.

Parker rolled over on his stomach and pushed himself up tentatively.

"Hey," He cleared his voice that was still a little raspy from the previous night, "Jarvis, where'd Matt go off to?"

The AI didn't disappoint with his quick and informative response, "Master Murdock didn't say where he was going. Would you like me to dial his phone for you, sir?"

"No, that's okay. He's probably busy."

If an AI could sound sad and disappointed in itself it would be Jarvis. "If you need any further assistance locating Master Murdock please feel free to ask. I will try my very best to get the information you seek."

Peter wandered off to the bathroom, picking up a dark shirt that lay crumpled on the ground as he walked by it.

"Actually, could you tell me where Tony and Bruce are?"

* * *

"All I'm saying is Schrodinger's idea of subatomic particles influencing the life of his cat is something we could try out on Loki. He won't be dead! We'll just put him in a box and-"

"There is no clear line as to when Loki would be alive or dead. We need to ensure his safety for the sake of Thor."

"Then we just won't open the box."

"That's not the point. The quantum world doesn't mash well with the world of-"

"Here we go again!"

Tony threw his hands up, about to go off again about the physics and the survival rate of quantum suicide, when he spotted Peter, dressed in only a t-shirt that was clearly not his and a pair of dark colored boxers.

"Hey guys, not to interrupt your conversation or anything, but did Matt tell you where he was going? I already asked Jarvis and he doesn't know."

Banner, a tad startled, turned to face the intruder.

"I'm sorry Pete. Have you checked his house in Hell's Kitchen?"

The superhero groaned, running a hand through his ruffled up hair.

"Matt gets mad at me if I so much as enter his general area. Says I got the sticky fingers of a four year old."

Silence engulfed and destroyed every possible shred of mutual comfort that existed before Peter walked in. Tony cleared his throat and Bruce shifted himself around in the chair.

"So, care to place an opinion on trying out Schrodinger's cat experiment on Loki?"

Parker beamed.

"Sounds great. First things first though, what did Steve cook for breakfast?"

Bruce shook his head.

"Cap didn't cook anything. He left early with Mockingbird to go sightseeing. There aren't any leftovers either. The others got to it last night."

"Oh, I guess I'll just have a poptar-"

"Those are Thor's, you can't have them." Stark interrupted, not caring if it annoyed Peter or not.

"Okay, Lucky Charms it is."

"The hell you're getting those either. T'Chall doesn't ask for a whole lot so when he says that the chalky cereal is his, it's his."

Peter looked flustered but was use to Stark antics.

"Then what do you recommend, Tony?"

Tony flung himself from the chair he was resting on and swaggered on over to his half dressed friend.

"Mimosas and bacon. Breakfast of the champions! Wait, how old are you again, Spidey?"

Ironman waved away Parker's answer before he even managed to say it.

"Never mind, it doesn't matter. Go get dressed. There's this nice little café down the road a ways we can go to."

Spiderman tried to look disappointed, wandering off in the direction of his room with a slight smile on his face despite his best efforts to hide it.

Anthony Stark spun around on his heels in time to catch the soft gaze Bruce was pushing onto him.

"What is it, Brucey?"

"That was really nice of you, Stark."

"Nice of me to do what? Have an excuse to drink mimosas?"

"You know what I'm referring to."

"Yeah, I know."

* * *

"Sir, we don't serve alcoholic beverages here."

Stark shoved his sunglasses down his nose to gaze into their waitresses eyes, trying to convey the message that was clearly being missed. Banner and Parker just looked anywhere but at their friend, trying not to make the interaction any more awkward then it ought to be.

"I suggest going to the store, getting the ingredients needed for my drink, and making it. Do you not know who I am? I'm Tony Stark, just the owner of Stark Industries, Ironman, and an all around great guy. You don't want to upset me, now do you?"

The blonde shook her head in an exaggerated, dramatic fashion.

"Then get to it."

"Tony, do you really need-"

"Shut up Bruce. Anyways, where were we? Ah yes, the decrease rate of a radioactive particle!"

Peter took a bite of his bacon appreciatively. "Well, what does that really have to do with Loki's survival rate? There is a fifty percent chance either way because there are two parallel universes in which Loki would survive or wouldn't."

Banner placed his herbal tea down and shook his head. "That's not true. The idea of a parallel universe is just that, an idea. There is no scientific evidence that proves there are two worlds in which Loki would survive or wouldn't."

Tony leaned over the table and snatched one of the pieces of ham from the doctor's plate who gave an unamused glare in return. "That why we need to discuss decrease rates of radioactive particles! If we can give Thor some kind of reassurance that his brother is going to be mostly okay and word it in a way that won't fly completely over that oaf's head, then we can conduct the experiment."

"Assuming Loki lets us capture him." Peter added.

"Yes, assuming the god lets us capture him."

"And put him in a box." Bruce put in as well.

"And put him in a box."

"And not kill any of us in the process."

"You guys are just a bunch of negative Nancys."

* * *

Dr. Henry was taking a stroll in town, mentally documenting the people around him and their actions, as well as keeping an eye out for a criminal he could perhaps talk some sense into before they thoroughly ruined their lives.

He enjoyed the hustle and bustle of the city but watching it from atop of Stark's tower was nothing compared to being up close to the stone buildings and busy men and women going about their day. He could discover things from on the ground that he would have never been able to see if he perched himself high in the sky. He briefly wondered how Mockingbird or Hawkeye could stand to see the world at such a view point but he supposed he could understand. Sometimes it's nice to be able to look down and not worry about others disturbing you.

Hank inhaled the mucky, polluted air with enthusiasm. He could smell a cup of coffee beckoning him from a small, adorable, mom and pop shop from his right. Waiting patiently at a crosswalk for the signal that it was a safe, a-okay journey across the street, the scientist could have sworn that he seen Dr. Banner sitting in the window of the café beckoning him with the strong scent of caffeine.

* * *

"Dr. Henry! Please, come have a seat with us!" Peter pushed his seat back and smiled at the older man as he shook his hand eagerly.

"Mr. Parker! How kind of you to offer. May I sit by you, doctor?"

Bruce smiled tightly, but friendly none the less, and nodded.

"Of course, have a seat."

"Ah, thank you, gentlemen! So what brings you all out on this fine evening? I wasn't expecting Stark to be up until late."

Tony took a sip of his mimosa and placed it sloppily back on to the coaster.

"Pete had some clothes that needed to be mended after his big game the other day, and I had a hard time going to sleep last night anyway so I was up early."

Hank nodded, not needing any more of an explanation then that. The waitress, who earlier refused Tony his beverage, came by with a note pad and a pencil, ready to take the new man's order. He ordered a simple cup of coffee without cream and sent her on her way.

A moment of silence passed before Peter opened his mouth.

"I say we get the good doctors opinion on the whole Loki idea."

* * *

Two scientists, a college student, and engineer all sat around a fairly large metal box that they managed to throw together within no time at all.

"We can put the radar over here that way Loki won't be able to break it thus killing him."

Tony slapped the hand Hank was using to point at a certain corner in the box with.

"Stop being an idiot, okay? Loki is intelligent. We need to disguise it as something that way he isn't overly curious about it."

Bruce shook his head for what seemed to be the millionth time today.

"What makes you think he isn't going to be curious about the radioactive waste sitting by his side? Or the glass of poisonous gasses?"

Peter used this temporary silence on Stark's part to speak up.

"What happens if we try something else out instead of poisonous gas? I mean, we could try some kind of explosion or something that way we can identify if the experiment is working or not within a chosen time frame. A small explosion would be much easier to monitor then the gasses which we can't put anything in there anyways to record it because it would ruin the fine line between death and life."

Tony nodded his head eagerly at explosion, not even bothering to register the rest in his mind. If he had he might have been able to identify the faults in such an idea but all the billionaire could hear was a loud boom detonating in his head.

"Well, if we're going to do an explosion instead we should test it in a controlled environment." Banner added.

"He's right. Perhaps an enclosed space we could monitor." Hank's eyes glistened with excitement.

"We could do it in the training grounds. We're going to have to do several of them though, for scientific purposes of course."

Everyone nodded their heads in approval, abandoning the box of steel and collecting materials to make several small bombs.

"Hey, who exactly is going to detonate all of this?" Peter spoke up, after they had moved a small-very small-portion of the lab temporarily to the large training room that was built early on during the Avengers polling together to live in the house.

* * *

"So you guys want me to do what exactly?" Clint Barton had been having a fairly normal day of perching in Coulson's general area and monitoring him like a mother hen monitors her new born chicks, when a certain college student burst in to the room, demanding his assistance immediately. (Coulson wasn't very happy to find out that Clint was resting in his vents again or that Spiderman had no fear of bursting into his office Stark had built him.)

"Just shoot your arrow into the box hitting that target right there."

"The yellow one?"

"No, the orange one."

"Oh, okay, yeah, I see it."

"Just aim and fire."

"Got it."

"It's the one in the middle."

"I got it Stark, shut up for once."

Hawkeye stretched the string back with two fingers, aligning the arrow with his target to ensure a perfect shot.

* * *

Virginia 'Pepper' Potts Hogan* prided herself in her work. She was clean, neat, and efficient in every possible move she made for Stark's company and her own personal life, though the two often intermingled. Tony often said she was born to sort out his messes. This is one of those times that it felt like her boss's statement was more true than false.

"Sorry, but I'm not taking any questions."

Pepper shoved the microphone in her face away and proceeded up the steps, attempting to ignore the clicks of cameras and the voices badgering her for answers to their questions as to what just happened in Stark's tower. She had already got off the phone with Jarvis who said that Tony, Bruce, Peter, and Hank, along with Hawkeye who apparently had no idea what the others were up to, had conducted an experiment (of what he couldn't say) that ended in a series of explosions.

The redhead sat patiently in the elevator, not even glancing at her watch to see how many appointments she was going to either miss or be late for. AC/DC roamed out of the speakers in hushed tones that almost sounded like gossipers whispering to each other over what had taken place.

"Hello Ms. Potts. Tony is in the bar along with the others."

"Thank you, Jarvis."

"It's my pleasure, madam."

Pepper stormed down several hallways before appearing at the door of the bar.

"Anthony Stark! What did you do?"

The boys all stopped chatting and laughing simultaneously the moment she had elegantly burst into the room.

"I didn't do anything! It was all Parker's idea!"

Peter feigned a look of outrage. "I'm not the one who used way to much powder, _Banner._"

Bruce contorted his face and pointed his finger shamelessly at Hank.

"I admit, I may have used a bit to much powder but it was an accident. If Henry wouldn't have been talking on the phone instead of paying attention to what we were doing it wouldn't have happened."

Hank tried his best to appear appalled but he only proved that he was a terrible actor if nothing else.

"It's not my fault! Janet called me and you don't just ignore her when she wants to talk. Besides, if Barton would have just told us no or even asked what we were doing instead of blindly following orders then the explosions wouldn't have taken place."

Clint crossed his arms and furrowed his brow, whispering under his breath, "If all of you would have just left me alone to watch Coulson none of this would have happened. I just wanted to get back to him faster. Now I have to be reprimanded by Tony's glorified babysitter."

"Now, how did this all start?"

Everyone looked confused for a moment before Tony spoke up.

"It all started in 1935 when physicist Schrodinger came up with this idea of putting a cat in a box."

* * *

_***Pepper actually married Happy in the comics and come on! They are such a cute couple, right?**_

**Anyways, hope you enjoyed the oddity that I felt compelled to write. Reviews are appreciated but you all know that already, don't you?**

**(I imagine that there are just terrible spelling and grammar mistakes in this due to writing it at one in the morning, so forgive me.)**


End file.
